Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Part-I "Honeymoon Over & The Itch"

See also, Part-II [above]

What's the best part of any relationship? Ah ...the spin-up, "honeymoon" period, of course! But once the conjoined baths, public smooching, and non-stop canoodling are over, the relationship can come to a screeching halt. Someone announces a "dead end" (cul de sac).

That's when she starts to feel the itch.

According to experts, sometimes it's not merely a "rough patch" (to scratch), but THE inescapable "love crisis point" that occurs (it's a point in time when an "EXODUS" is no Book of the Bible). She is CONVINCED that the grass is sure to be greener on the other side. More often than not, the grass does all the damage. More often than not, all that is grass is NOT green. Maybe it's money, maybe it's sex (a romp in the hay), maybe it's true incompatibility -- but there's that itch.

It always gets touched by someone. (Itched.)

In the classic film "Seven Year Itch", lead man (Richard Sherman) who has been married for seven years meets 22-year-old lead lady (Marilyn Monroe). And he is petrified. Why? He had recently stumbled across a phenomenon known as the 'seven-year itch' -- the time in a relationship when a significant proportion of men and women have extra-relationship affairs. And while he doesn't succumb to scratching the itch, it seems he's not alone in feeling it.

Ah, the itch. "I felt it after just 3-years." revealed Ms. "X".

She's a self-employed professional who recently found herself placed on the outside of a three-year union by a boy friend who demands zero impropriety in the form of consistent decency and irreproachable moral behavior (at all times) -- and the total absence of abuse and violence in a home.

Well, "Now, it's alive and real.", " I will do whatever I want. It’s a free world. For both of us." (The itch.)

It was all running smoothly between the two of them, and then BAM (wambam, AKA marriage wampum?). She hit the mark and everything went pear-shaped from there.

"He broke things off due to my behavior, and things have been lousy for me ever since.", she said.

"The problem now, is that I'm petrified this will happen again, because she can't contain herself.", he said.

Research shows the median time for an enduring relationship is approximately, 7.2 years. So why all the malice at the 3-year point?

People change naturally over the years (anyone who broke off a marriage after about seven years) ought to know. Life works in cycles and everything changes (about every seven years). Suddenly, you wake up with someone that you weren't with those (few) years ago. So you need to make an effort to get to know that person again.

The itch occurs when people think 'I cant be bothered to do anything about the problems that we have to surmount, and I'm just not going to accept a mediocre relationship." (The itch.)

Yet the seventh year isn't the only blimp on the relationship radar. Oh no. Sometimes this occurs during the 6th, 5th, 4th, or even the 3rd year!

Those "love crises points" are the times (in every relationship) where things get a little unpleasant. Some relationships have more, others less. Experts (and serial "candy shop" daters), say there's the one-month itch, the one-year itch (when the honeymoon period is over and reality slowly starts to creep in), the 2-year itch (when realities surface), and the third-year itch (usually at the point where the couple is actually thinking about being together for the long haul) -- but each interval leaves couples out in the cold... shivering and stark-naked, their souls bared.

Within that three-year period, the initial euphoria has worn off and each person is getting down to the business of 'How can we be together?", "What must we do with our lives to make that possible?", "How are we going to coordinate our work and home lives to care for our children?", "Are we going to get to travel and enjoy love and life together?", "Or will it be all work, and no play?

"A girl just wants to have fun? So let's forget about the seven year conundrum for just a moment.

How do we scratch the three-year itch? After all, no-one wants the honeymoon to end after just three years, right?

Perhaps we can look to Hollywood for some answers?

In the film "The Break Up", Jennifer Aniston's character finds the perfect solution for her relationship itch. So how does she get character Vince Vaughn's attention? She opts for Brazilian bikini wax. And yes, according to my friends, it works wonders...

Have you felt it? How do you prevent the itch?

And so Bikini wax it is...

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