Friday, December 24, 2010

An E=MC2 Christmas (the Bi-polar Expressed)?

E=MC2 Christmas again?
(AKA: the bi-Polar Express-ed)
While pondering the existence of Santa Claus at a very young age, I was guided by the traditional wisdom of: "Those who don't believe, don't receive... Indeed, and that is well-along the lines of 'you'd better not shout, you'd better not cry - you'd better not pout, I'm tellin' you why...'.  The combo aligned my childhood loyalties to the Nordic legend. However, as the years passed,evolved into the mind of a scientist, and I sought to collect sufficient evidence to lead me to postulate a theory of "Christmas Physics". All of which has been designed to explain "Santa Claus" (A.K.A. "Kris Kringle") and his widely-reported, sometimes incredulous, always "Polar", goings-on's.

However, Christmas Physics is a distant cousin of Quantum Theory (and just as stringy), and multi-dimensional. The Christmas phenomenon is expressed in polarized energy units, known as "santas", Those are convertible to standard units to express: energy, time, and space (thank you Herr Albert, part-time violinist). This allows for the the (apparent) impossibility of "flying" reindeer and their annual around-the-world trip (in one night), etc. "Santas" are generated by particles of  "spirited" beingscalled "elves". "Elves" exist in nearly all living matter (they are entities capable of doing good deeds or acts of kindness, in a wink). As "santas" are generated, the living beings nearby, feel a sense joy/happiness (jolliness - if you see what I mean?). However, a critical mass of "elves" must be reached to start the energy transformation (the paper-chain reaction). Only certain souls possess an adequately high concentration of "elves", consequentially, only they can generate the huge (truly massive) "santa mass" that is required. Voila! That explains the "Santa Claus" of legend, more or less, Me Thinks.

As these shorter, colder days of winter (and small children) act as a catalyst for this reaction, the catalytic conversion allows beings with average amounts of "elves" (at far less than "santa mass") to transform a limited amount of "santas" (by adding cookies and milk).

  To my way of thinking, anti-santa energy (i.e. "bah-humbug"can (and does) disrupt the local field-effect of the "santa" conversion. The origin of "humbug" is (essentially) unknown, but "relative" (as in "Relativity") as akin to bad-tasting fruit-cake and the inevitable, holiday traffic-jam. The interaction of high-energy "humbug" and large "santa mass" can lead to the "scrooge cascade". The resultant slippery-slide depends on the "quanta" of each - within the interaction (the chain reaction)?

? Of course, this theory is not restricted to Western cultural myth. As most cultures recount similar children's storieshence, this must be something of Universal occurrence. Therefore, the "Santa Claus" theory (story) is not so much, a fairy tale, but a mis- understood domain of specialized physics.  After all, how else could Santa Claus (possibly) get so much work done in just one day, or travel as far - with a red-nosed deer lighting and leading the way?  It's as simple as:

E=MC2 that is to say... Elves (do) = Most (of the massive work for Santa) Claus (on) Christmas (eve). But, children everywhere already knew that...

What remains of the child, in you?

Christmas ideals are a reflection of traditions that have withstood the tests of time and which define who and what we honor (serve), as well as - who and what we cherish (value). May your holidays be blessed with much Peace and Peace of Mind. Know wisdom. Teach tolerance. Show patience. And be kind, for... 

(-: The smile you send out, comes back to you! :-)